Homily for the Second Sunday Evening of Great Lent
By St. Sergius Mechev
By St. Sergius Mechev
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit!
Repentance is above all reconciliation with oneself, and through this reconciliation with God and with people. About this I have already spoken to you, and now I want to give an example of external repentance — such repentance when outwardly there is real repentance, but inwardly it is a repentance that does not bear the knowledge of one’s sin and the striving, through the endurance of sorrows, to cleanse oneself from this sin.
In the times of the ancient Church there lived a certain steward (oikonomos), by the name of Theophilos. He lived in holiness, managed the church property righteously, and was loved by everyone for his kindness. To everyone he was a consolation in sorrow. When the bishop died, the people began to ask Theophilos to occupy the episcopal throne, but Theophilos refused. “I know my sins and therefore am unworthy of this rank; I cannot be a bishop,” he said, shedding tears and falling at the feet of the Metropolitan who wished to consecrate him as bishop. For a long time he lay at the feet of the hierarch, weeping and asking that the burden not be laid upon him. The Metropolitan gave him three days to think everything over well. After three days the same thing happened again: Theophilos stubbornly refused the episcopal rank. Then the Metropolitan appointed another bishop for the citizens, and Theophilos again remained steward. Here, it would seem, is an example of true repentance. A man recognizes his sins and refuses the episcopal rank in reconciliation with God and with men.
But repentance is measured above all by one’s attitude toward the sorrows and difficulties that are sent by God. If a person says that he repents but murmurs and does not endure sorrows, then there is no repentance in him. The saints even took upon themselves the sins of others. They considered that it was the will of God if human accusations fell upon them, and they accepted everything as punishment for sins sent from the Lord. Many saints imposed sorrows upon themselves, afflictions and constraints, and endured them in humility; some stood upon pillars, others dug narrow caves and shut themselves in them. And all this in order to cleanse themselves by the endurance of external difficulties and constantly to remember their sin.
But a man who says that he is sinful and unworthy, yet has not prepared himself for the endurance of sorrows, does not walk the path of repentance. Thus Theophilos, it would seem, felt that his covenant with God had been broken and that he therefore had to prepare himself for all difficulties, for all sorrows. Everyone persuaded him to accept the rank — both clergy and laypeople — but he nevertheless refused. In reality the man seemed to repent, but in the trial Theophilos did not endure.
The Lord allowed various slanders against Theophilos. They began to accuse him before the bishop of many unseemly actions. At first Theophilos was not disturbed by anything and calmly continued his work. And the bishop at first did not believe the accusations, but later he became troubled and removed Theophilos from church activity. But Theophilos, instead of enduring this and understanding that the Lord was humbling him for his self-willed and arbitrary refusal of the rank, became indignant and began to be stormed by thoughts: “Behold, the bishop has humiliated you before everyone, has unjustly insulted you, has preferred to you a man far more insignificant than you.”
A great struggle began within him, then faint-heartedness and almost despair. It seemed to him that the people who had asked him to be bishop had now ceased to respect him, were laughing at him, and in his soul there flared up the desire to regain, at any cost, his former position before men. Before God he was not guilty — for indeed all the accusations brought against him were slander — but before men he wished to restore his position. And in his faint-heartedness he came to the point that, instead of going to God and asking from Him forgiveness for his sins — the very sins for the sake of which he had refused the rank — he began to seek help elsewhere and turned to a certain sorcerer.
He who quite calmly could have been a bishop now set as his goal at all costs to become once again steward, and for this he decided to act through a sorcerer. He came to him at night and told him everything, asked for his help, and promised to pay him. The sorcerer promised to help him the very next day, but on one condition only — that he renounce Christ. Theophilos was in such faint-heartedness that he forgot everything: he forgot that in due time he would stand before the throne of God and remembered only that his former honors and respect had departed from him, and he wished to restore them. He agreed and gave a special written renunciation to the sorcerer.
Indeed, after some time Theophilos received relief. The bishop, by the will of God, felt that he had been unjust toward Theophilos and began to ask his forgiveness. And if Theophilos had endured everything to the end at the proper time, how joyfully he would have met this change. The bishop in the church, before all the people, began to ask his forgiveness: “Forgive me; I have dishonored your holiness. I ask you again to accept the administration.” But although the bishop again exalted Theophilos, it was of no benefit to him. He was again honored by everyone; all obeyed him; and his enemies began humbly to ask his mercy. It would seem that now everything was good.
Yes — if Theophilos had walked the path of repentance and endured everything. But he had renounced Christ.
A moment came when his conscience awoke in him and began to burn him. He began to suffer, to grieve, and to repent, having felt his sin. At that very time the sorcerer was executed for his deeds, and it seemed that everything could have been forgotten with the sorcerer’s death — for no one among men except him knew of Theophilos’s fall. But his conscience did not remain silent; his torments increased more and more; it became unbearable for him to live.
And he turned with fervent supplication to the Mother of God, to the “Surety of Sinners,” and began to ask Her to be his Intercessor. He withdrew into a small church, laid aside all worldly cares, and prayed and repented fervently for forty days. And the Mother of God heard his prayer. She covered him with Her Omophorion and granted him to have Her as his intercessor before Her Son.
Now true repentance appeared in Theophilos. Earlier he had had much pride, self-admiration, and lacked the most important thing — readiness for sorrow. At that time he could have accepted the episcopal rank not for honor but for the bearing of the cross, for the sorrows connected with it, for the cleansing of sins — but he went by another path.
And although now no one knew how low Theophilos had fallen, he himself desired, when true repentance came, that everyone should know his sin. And he who had tried so hard to restore his former position in the eyes of men, in the church during the Divine Liturgy, after the Gospel, threw himself weeping at the feet of the Metropolitan and asked permission to bring repentance aloud. It was unbearable for him any longer to bear this greatest sin — the sin of renouncing Christ. His soul opened, and he was ready to bear all sorrows, all humiliations. He told everything in detail from the beginning to the end, even to his vision of the Mother of God who returned to him his written renunciation. He exposed himself to shame and brought true repentance.
In our time, my dear ones, every penitent can do this before a priest in the Mystery of Repentance. And although it is painfully shameful to repent, by overcoming this shame the penitent is cleansed from sins.
Thus, my dear ones, we see two states in the same man. In the form of repentance he refuses the episcopal rank, yet he was not prepared for the endurance of sorrows. And however we may define repentance, it must necessarily contain within itself the preparation of the repentant soul for every sorrow. If I repent, it means I am guilty and ready to bear whatever punishment the Lord lays upon me. Therefore Theophilos also, when he repented truly, did not stop before the possibility that people might change their opinion about him.
Such is the state of one who repents not in words — repentance enters into his life. We all must remember that all difficulties are sent to us according to our sins, and we must bear them not with murmuring, malice, and hatred, but with patience, as from the Lord Himself.
Let each of us, my dear ones, feel his repentance — whether it is in words or in deed. Especially in the days of the fast let us remember that repentance is the preparation of oneself for all sorrows. Let us remember that the Lord sends sorrows, and He also delivers from them. Let us therefore serve Him, remembering that He said: “He has delivered, and He will yet deliver.”
To our Lord be glory unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.