Homilies from the Menaion for Every Day of the Year: September 17

The Month of September

Day 17

18. On How Mothers Should Raise Their Children

(From the Life of the Holy Martyrs Faith, Hope, and Love and Their Mother Sophia. September 17, Menaion.)

The responsibility for raising children rests primarily upon you, Christian mothers! God Himself has entrusted this responsibility to you. Look at a child: who has instilled in him such love for you that he does not hasten to anyone as he does to you, show affection to anyone as he does to you, and can hardly live without you? You will certainly agree that God Himself has placed this love within him. But why? The reason is obvious. He placed it there so that you would understand that if a child, so to speak, never leaves your side, he does not do so without reason. God Himself has commanded him not to leave you and, by this, to require of you that you keep constant watch over the development of his inclinations and understanding and that, as far as possible, you develop his spiritual and bodily faculties. Hardly anyone will dispute this truth, and I think you yourselves will agree with it. And if you agree, you will even more readily agree that the duty of raising children is a difficult one, and that not every mother is capable of fulfilling it properly.

What, then, should be done, you may ask? We answer: one must learn how to fulfill this duty from mothers who have experience. And from which mothers, you ask? Naturally, it is best to learn from holy mothers, who not only saved themselves but also, through their upbringing, saved their children. But where can such mothers be found? We have found two of them for you.

Concerning Saint Sophia, the mother of Saints Faith, Hope, and Love, her Life tells us that, after being widowed and left with three daughters, she gave them an upbringing such as only a truly wise woman could provide. Her first concern was that her daughters, who bore the names of the first three and greatest virtues, should justify those virtues through their actual lives. And Sophia's good care bore good fruit. As her daughters grew in age, their virtues also grew. They studied the Prophetic and Apostolic books, became accustomed to reading the writings of the Fathers, and devoted themselves diligently to reading, prayer, and household work. They obeyed their God-wise mother, advanced in virtue, and went from strength to strength. Everyone took notice of them because of their exceptional prudence, and their outstanding wisdom and goodness became known throughout Rome.

Another example is given to us by Saint Emilia, the mother of Saint Basil the Great, who raised her daughter Macrina in the following manner. First of all, she took the sacred songs of David and the Proverbs of Solomon as her daughter's textbooks. From them she selected passages that were prayers, hymns of praise, or lessons in the wisdom of life, and made her memorize them. Thus, whatever Macrina might be doing, these sacred verses of instruction were her constant companions and guides. Emilia also taught her daughter to sing, but she did not allow her to sing pagan songs. Everything that could leave an impression of moral corruption and stench upon the young soul, the mother kept away from her daughter's sight and hearing. At that time, mothers themselves took their children to the theater. Emilia recognized that theatrical performances already inflicted irreparable harm by weaning the soul from a love of work and accustoming it to frivolity and distraction. She taught her daughter women's handicrafts and household management, knowing that physical labor would strengthen her health. Finally, after their household activities, Emilia took her daughter to the church of God to listen to sacred hymns and prayers. (Lives of the Ascetic Women Saints of the Eastern Church, by Philaret, Archbishop of Chernigov.)

Was there any benefit from such an upbringing of their daughters by these mothers? There was. When the time came, the daughters of Saint Sophia demonstrated an unwavering confession of the faith, and neither the threats nor the allurements of the persecutor, nor even death itself, could make them renounce their faith in the true God and in the blessed life to come. And concerning Macrina, we know that when she had grown up, “several maidservants could not perform as many services for Emilia as one Macrina did....” Never separating herself from her mother, Macrina cared for her to such an extent that she baked bread for her with her own hands and sewed her clothing. When the father of the family died, Macrina became her mother's chief assistant in managing the estates located in various regions. More important still was the influence Macrina had on the moral life of the entire household. Although her mother already stood at a high level of moral life, Macrina imperceptibly led her ever higher by the example of her own self-denying life. (Lives of the Ascetic Women Saints of the Eastern Church, by Philaret, Archbishop of Chernigov, pp. 168–171.)

What, then, follows from everything that has been said, Christian mothers? First, that your primary duty is to raise your children; second, that this duty is a difficult one; and third, that precisely because it is difficult, you must learn how to fulfill it from mothers who have experience, and especially from holy mothers. At the same time, however, it is self-evident that the principal strength must first of all lie within yourselves and in your own heartfelt concern for the upbringing of your children. If there is no concern, but only coldness toward the fulfillment of the duty of raising them, no example will help, and the whole undertaking will prove fruitless. Therefore, ask God for more of this concern for your children, and when you possess it, believe that all will be well in your families. Amen.

Questions for Discussion 18

1. Why did God command the child not to leave his mother, and what does He thereby require of the mother?

2. Why should we learn how to fulfill the difficult duty of raising children from holy mothers?

3. What did the Holy Martyrs Faith, Hope, and Love devote themselves diligently to?

4. What do theatrical performances wean the soul from, while accustoming it to frivolity and distraction?

5. What should we ask God for more of, so that all may be well in our families?

 

Source: The Cheti-Minei: Homilies for Every Day of the Year (Book 1: September, October, November) by Archpriest Viktor Guryev. Publication of the Russian Panteleimon Monastery on Mount Athos, 1896. Translated by John Sanidopoulos.