By Fr. George Dorbarakis
The life of Venerable Theodora of Alexandria is wondrous. For although she is not the only one in the history of the Church who practiced asceticism disguised as a man in a men’s monastery, she is the only one to follow this paradoxical ascetic path on the basis of two distinct circumstances: first, she chooses the harsh martyrdom of complete exile in order to “make atonement” for the sin of adultery, which, however, is known only to her; second, she accepts the slander of a carnal relationship with a woman (!) from which an infant was also born (!), again interpreting the event herself as a “repayment” for the adultery she had committed against her lawful husband. This is a reality that reveals the sanctity of Theodora, because it shows that her entire course, not only her ascetic life after she donned the monastic habit but also her life before that, was continually before the eyes of the Lord. Indeed, her great fall into sexual sin did occur, “through the envy of the devil,” according to the Synaxarist, but from that moment onward she could not bear this tragic event in her life, even though she could have “overcome” it by following the rule of repentance through the Mystery of Confession.
But her conscience is so sensitive that this is not enough for her. She feels that her complete dedication to God, and indeed in the absolute manner of exile that we mentioned, can bring about the forgiveness and repose of her heart. The Holy Hymnographer also notes this conviction of hers. Already in the first Stichera of Vespers, he says that “the sun, until its setting (and not afterward, consequently), did not see you sinning; but the Unsetting One, the Searcher of hearts and Lord, saw and knew you, He who sees all things done in secret. Therefore He illumined intensely the eyes of your heart with the light of repentance, with the result that you hastened to worship Him with persevering self-restraint and perfection in the virtues.”
The path of exile of the Venerable One, as well as her willing acceptance of the slander, reveals, on the other hand, the greatest of all the virtues that characterized Theodora: holy humility. All the Fathers of the Church testify that if we truly wish to know the spiritual stature of a Christian, we must look for the signs of his genuine humility. And this is because the God who has revealed Himself to us is these two things: love and humility. Venerable Theodora, therefore, reveals the extraordinary height of her spiritual stature because she was animated by this humility, and certainly also by her love for God and for her fellow human being. The Hymnographer tells us that the Saint served in the monastery “with a humble mind” (Ode 3), “wounded by divine eros” (Exapostilarion), while with this disposition of soul she poured forth her ardent love for the Lord through her prayers: “See my humility and my weeping. See my affliction and relieve it....” (Ode 4). Thus Theodora cried out to the One who alone is able to save. And it was precisely this humility of hers that, like a sword in the hands of the Venerable One, cut off the heads of the demons: “With the sword of humility you wounded this enemy, crushing his crafty head” (Ode 5).
The Venerable One was especially endowed with grace by the Lord because of her great humility and profound repentance. Therefore, on the one hand, her miracles were and continue to be exceedingly numerous (“God, having given you the grace of healings” - Ode 5); on the other, her life is a great example of repentance for every person who falls into sin, no matter how great and grievous those sins may be (“Your life has been revealed as an example for those who have fallen and desire, through repentance, to approach Him who knows how to forgive sins, as it is written” [Synaxarion Oikos]).
Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.
