Birthday of the Dowager Empress Maria Feodorovna**
(Lessons from her Life:
a. Mercy toward the Poor and
b. Family Harmony)
By Archpriest Grigory Dyachenko
I. Our most pious and beloved Dowager Empress, whose birthday the Holy Church now celebrates with solemn joy, offers us, from the heights of the imperial throne, two great examples of Christian life, which it is especially necessary to imitate at the present time: examples of lofty Christian charity and of the sacred observance of the ordinances of the Mystery of Marriage.
II. a) “Wherever you turn your gaze across the boundless expanse of the Russian land,” says one Church teacher (Dimitry, Archbishop of Kherson), “everywhere you will lovingly embrace the traces of this tender, compassionate love and solicitude of the august Mother of all the children of Russia. Here She extends a helping hand to the homeless orphan; there She enfolds the widow in Her love. Here, under the protection of the Red Cross, She tends the wounds of the soldier; there, through attentive care, She makes the final years of his life more comfortable. Here Her mercy establishes a shelter for the blind, while there a drowning man receives help. Here the Sisters of Mercy gather beneath Her sovereign protection, while there, strengthened by Her patronage, preachers of the gospel pass through cold tundras and scorching deserts, valleys and mountains, seas and rivers, carrying the word of truth and proclaiming it to those ‘who sit in darkness and the shadow of death.’”
Can we not also imitate this holy example of living Christian love, according to our abilities and means? Not only can we, but we must. The imperial example of charity is absolutely obligatory for all of us, whatever our degree of material prosperity may be. The word of God teaches that the commandment to love our neighbor is the most important commandment after the great commandment to love God: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). But how else can love for our neighbor be shown, and shown to the same degree as love for ourselves, if not by helping those who are suffering?
It is not only our human feeling of compassion for our neighbor, nor merely the fear of being accused of hardheartedness before the judgment of our conscience and the judgment of God, that should move us to show love for others. Our own good also obliges us to do so. At God's judgment, there will be no mercy for the one who was not merciful toward his brothers on earth, for it is said: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy” (Matthew 5:7). To those who showed no compassion toward the poor, the fearsome and righteous heavenly Judge will one day say: “Go away from Me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels” (Matthew 25:41), “for I was hungry, and you did not give Me food; I was thirsty, and you did not give Me drink” (Matthew 25:42). How terrible it is to be without mercy! For such a person, the loss of eternal blessedness is inevitable.
But the hardhearted are also deprived of God's favor even in this life, for the following deeply comforting words of the Psalmist do not apply to them: “Blessed is the man who considers the poor and needy. On the day of distress, the Lord will deliver him. May the Lord preserve him and keep him alive; may He bless him on the earth and not hand him over to his enemies. May the Lord help him upon his bed of sickness” (Psalm 40:1–3).
Some people, however, whose hearts are made of stone instead of flesh, ordinarily conceal their indifference toward the plight of the suffering by saying that “they themselves have little means to live on”—a disastrous misconception, if it is sincere and not merely a respectable mask for heartlessness. Nowhere in the word of God is it required that a poor person give in charity as much as a rich person. According to the teaching of the Gospel, one may contribute less to charitable works than everyone else and yet, before the judgment of God, that seemingly insignificant offering may be regarded as the greatest of all. The all-seeing Eye will overlook neither the intention with which the offering is made nor the proportion it represents of the giver's entire possessions. The widow in the Gospel placed only two of the smallest coins—two mites—into the treasury of the Jerusalem Temple, yet, according to Christ's judgment, she gave more than all the rich. “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all the others” (Luke 21:3). Saint John Chrysostom speaks most instructively, with reference to the offering of the widow in the Gospel, about how almsgiving is measured not by its quantity or amount, but by the love that accompanies it:
“Heavenly blessings are not sold for money,” says this great Father of the Church. “They are not bought with money, but through the disposition of the one who gives, through spiritual wisdom, through rising above worldly things, through love for humanity, and through almsgiving.… Why? Because when you give a smaller amount out of your great abundance, you have indeed performed an act of charity, but not one like the widow's. For you did not give with the same eagerness as she did. She deprived herself of everything—or rather, she did not deprive herself, but gave everything to herself. God promised the Kingdom not for talents of gold, but for a cup of cold water, given with eagerness.” (Homily 15 on the Epistle to the Philippians.)
All the saints were distinguished by this kind of charity, joined with heartfelt and living compassion for those who suffer. Here is one example: Saint Martin of Tours, while he was still a soldier and merely a catechumen, once tore his cloak in two so that he could give half of it to a poor man who was freezing from the cold. Afterward, he saw Jesus Christ in a dream, clothed in that half of his cloak and telling the angels how Saint Martin had covered Him with that garment.
b) The second example of true Christian life worthy of imitation, which the most pious Empress offers us from the height of the imperial throne, is her profound respect for the laws of family life established by God and sanctified in the Mystery of Marriage. Through the mutual love, holiness, and moral purity of the Imperial Couple, this marriage recalls, as it were, the image of the mystical union of Christ with the Church.
More than twenty-five years have passed since the Imperial Couple set before us the example of a truly Christian family. The Russian people, with profound joy, saw in their beloved Tsar, now reposed in the Lord, the foremost family man in the Russian land, the most exemplary father, a model husband, and a good, truly Russian master of his household. And in their infinitely beloved Empress, they saw a wonderfully beautiful wife, mother, and mistress of the household. The people could never rejoice enough in their family happiness, the highly moral spirit of their Imperial Children, their attentive and truly Christian upbringing, and, finally, the entire life of the Imperial Family, so complete and so happily ordered.
In this blessed family, we all see realized the finest precepts and traditions of Russian family life, by which our people live and remain strong, and which have been recorded in our cherished family instructions, beginning with the “Instruction to His Children” of Vladimir Monomakh.
The highly instructive example of the purity of family life shown by the Imperial Couple, which for so many years shone from the height of the imperial throne with its life-giving and deeply edifying light upon many millions of subjects, is the finest sermon against the un-Christian view of marriage that some people preach in our time and, what is even more disastrous, that many embrace to the detriment of their own personal lives and the disintegration of society.
What, then, is the secret of such a life? In other words, what conditions must be fulfilled in order to enjoy such wonderful harmony in family life? Let us point out two of these conditions, which are most frequently violated in our time.
1) The first cause of discord between spouses, which produces a thousand misfortunes both for them and for their children, is that in our own day, an age of pursuit of material gain and sensual pleasures, very many marriages are contracted out of self-interest.
Saint John Chrysostom vigorously rebukes those who, disregarding the spiritual qualities of the bride, are guided in their choice by considerations of personal gain. Recognizing that marriage is a union of hearts founded upon sincere mutual trust and affection, and that it should be an image of the union of the Lord Christ with the Church, he took every opportunity, and spoke with particular emphasis, to make clear to everyone that a self-interested choice of a bride, the so-called “prudent” choice, is in reality extremely imprudent for the husband, an offense against the holiness of marriage, a humiliation of the wife's honor, and harmful in its consequences.
The same hierarch also rebukes the parents of brides who seek a wealthy bridegroom for their daughters.
“First of all,” says Saint John Chrysostom, “seek for the young woman a husband—a true husband or friend—for you wish to give him not a captive, but your daughter. Do not seek money or noble birth; none of these things is important. Rather, seek gentleness, genuine good judgment, and the fear of God, if you want your daughter to enjoy living with him. For if you, the mother, seek a wealthier bridegroom, you will not only bring her no benefit, but may even harm her, because you will turn her from a free woman into a slave. The golden ornaments will give her less pleasure than the distress her condition of slavery will bring her.” (Chrysostom, Homily 20 on the Epistle to the Ephesians.)
From this we see how necessary it is, for the sake of family harmony, to be guided by the “spiritual aspect of marriage,” rather than by material considerations of any kind. To the great sorrow of all, many who enter marriage today stubbornly and resolutely refuse to acknowledge this.
2) The second cause of family discord is that neither the husband nor the wife, or one of them, is willing to be guided in their mutual relationship by the rules prescribed in divine revelation, without the observance of which no marriage can be happy.
Here is the divine teaching concerning the relationship between spouses:
“Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Savior of the body. But just as the Church is subject to Christ, so wives should be subject to their husbands in everything. Husbands, in the same way, should love their wives as their own bodies. The one who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and warms it, just as the Lord does the Church” (Ephesians 5:22–25, 28–29).
Explaining these words, Saint John Chrysostom says:
“The wife came from the husband's rib, and the two of them constitute, as it were, two parts of a single whole. Each of them separately is incomplete, as though some part of the body had been taken away, and neither is able by himself or herself to bear children or properly order life in this world. Nevertheless, the husband has something more. In accordance with Christ, he has also received the responsibility not only to love his wife as he ought, but also to order her life so that she may be holy and blameless.
The wife, although equal in honor to her husband, is the second principle; this means that she should not demand equality with her husband, since she stands under the head. Nor should he look down upon her arrogantly as though she were subordinate, for she is his body. If the head were to despise the body, it too would perish. In place of obedience, she should offer love, just as the head does: both the head and the body. The husband must devote himself to serving his wife, while she must care for him, dedicating all her affections to him. There is nothing better than such a marriage.” (Homilies on the Epistles to the Ephesians and Colossians.)
This, then, is the one true condition of family harmony between husband and wife: only through its observance is family happiness possible.
But what do we actually see? Many Christians, having lost their faith in divine revelation, at the same time make every effort to break all the bonds with which the Lord God has united the human family and society. By preaching equal rights for husbands and wives, so-called freedom of the emotions, civil marriage, and the like, these people, if they were given complete freedom of action, would utterly destroy the family and, with it, society as a whole. For, as the wise hierarch Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says: “In the family lie the seeds of everything that later unfolds and grows in the great family called the state.” (See the pamphlet The Political Teaching of Metropolitan Philaret.)
III. May the Lord God bless our marriages and our families with the same heavenly blessings with which He blesses our Imperial Family, which presents us with an example of a truly Christian family, adorned with all the Christian virtues and crowned by the greatest of them: profound mercy toward all the poor and helpless.
(Priest Grigory Dyachenko)Notes:
*This instruction was adapted by us from our own discourse, originally published in the Moscow Diocesan Gazette in 1891 and delivered in the Great Dormition Cathedral in Moscow.
** Maria Feodorovna (14/26 November 1847 – 1/13 October 1928), known before her marriage as Princess Dagmar of Denmark, was Empress of Russia from 1881 to 1894 as the wife of Emperor Alexander III. She was the fourth child and second daughter of Christian IX of Denmark and Louise of Hesse-Kassel. Maria’s eldest son, Nicholas, was the last Emperor of Russia, ruling from 1 November 1894 until his abdication on 15 March 1917. Maria lived for 10 years after Bolshevik functionaries killed Nicholas and his immediate family in 1918.
Source: A Complete Annual Cycle of Short Teachings, Composed for Each Day of the Year. Translated by John Sanidopoulos.
