Homily One for the Fourth Saturday Evening of Great Lent
By Holy Hieromartyr Sergius Mechev
(Delivered in 1929)
By Holy Hieromartyr Sergius Mechev
(Delivered in 1929)
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit!
On this present day, according to the Lenten Triodion, the commemoration of our Venerable father John of the Ladder is appointed, and according to the Menaion — the commemoration of our Venerable Mother Mary of Egypt. Thus two commemorations are combined today: the remembrance of the teacher of repentance and of a great sinner who became a great righteous one. We, my dear ones, repent poorly because we do not attend to ourselves, according to the words of John of the Ladder, but all our gaze is directed outward. Venerable John of the Ladder says that even in the Old Testament there was a commandment of attention to oneself. And now, in our time, this lack of attention to ourselves reaches the highest degree. All our gaze is turned outward, and this is, of course, aided by all events, as well as by difficult conditions. Yet the Kingdom of God is within us. As long as Venerable Mary of Egypt was in great sins, and her soul was turned outward, of course there could be no conversion. But when she turned her attention inward, to her soul — she felt sin.
I recall, for the clarification of this, something that a prominent scholar once told me when I was still a youth. He fell ill, was treated for a long time, and finally, after examination, the professor wrote him a diagnosis. Since after prolonged treatment he saw no relief and had great hope in this professor, as he left him, he opened the envelope and read the Latin name of the disease, which signified cancer. And immediately, on the street, this scholar felt that within himself he bore death, that he was already condemned, despite the fact that he wanted to live and still do very, very much. And he said that this sensation opened for him a new world. Through this condemnation he felt God differently and cried out: “Heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.” And he cried this out with repentance precisely through this death. And for one who repents it is necessary at least once in life to cry out thus. Cancer consists in the fact that in the organism a new life begins. Cells of the body multiply, which hinder the main organs from performing their functions, and finally a person perishes because the main organs cannot function. Although these cells live, they bear death within themselves, because the principal organs, displaced by them, little by little degenerate, and the person can no longer live.
In such a condition is also our soul. As the Holy Fathers say, after the fall, alongside our soul there appeared another soul — and it lives. Thus sin more and more fills our soul and prevents a person from living according to the laws by which he ought to live as a creation of God, and a person begins to live another life, unnatural to him. Therefore the Holy Fathers say that sin is death.
If any one of us, to the extent possible for us, once in his life, entering into his cell, should see his soul wounded, and when he feels that he bears death within himself and that he is a condemned man, and that one can destroy one’s soul even in this life — then he will see and feel how necessary repentance is for him, and he will run to the Lord not as to a Father, but as to a Physician.
For the soul, the danger of death lies in the fact that our mind is darkened by a new mind, through the new soul that has attached itself to our soul. Our feelings ought to be a pure, beautiful vessel of God, in order to love people, to acquire the Kingdom of God, and to see God within ourselves. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8). This grace we ought to bear to our wandering brethren — not in the sense of preaching, but in the sense of life. But we, my dear ones, become like a cancerous tumor and carry within ourselves the seed of destruction and the like, which hinders us from living. Likewise, our will ought to be so strong that we could do everything. “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me,” says the Holy Apostle (Phil. 4:13).
But we, my dear ones, have lost our true soul through negligent deeds, and therefore we can do nothing. In a word, our other soul fills us and pushes aside our true soul, just as a cancerous tumor crowds out the principal organs of the body.
Thus, my dear ones, sin enters into our soul and such is its significance. But with a cancerous tumor there are no other means of struggle except surgery, and even so, in the end, people perish in great numbers; but we have Christ the All-Healer. We need only to recognize our illness. The Holy Fathers say precisely this: that the knowledge of our illness is the path to healing. Yes, my dear ones, we have a Healer, but the trouble is that many of us do not know and do not realize that they are sick and that they may die at any moment.
In the days of Great Lent and of the great saints, especially Venerable John of the Ladder and Venerable Mary of Egypt, see how clearly they understood life and death, and how they felt it. In us, various passions may arise and then change. For example, a man leaves the passion of fornication, and then the passion of vainglory appears in him, and in the end the soul goes somewhere, while it has nothing in common with God. Therefore we must very, very carefully examine ourselves, although it seems to us that we do not have even a minute for this. I beg you, my dear ones, while we are still all together and gather here in the church, try to attend to yourselves and devote, if not a whole day, then at least an hour to remain alone with yourselves and to look into your soul. I beg you to pay attention to this. For we are all guilty in this. We have concerns about service, about work, about home and church — but, I repeat, one must observe one’s own shortcomings. Enter into your cell, and then you too will feel that you bear death within yourselves, and you will understand that you need repentance. If I feel that my body is ill, I run to a doctor and try to save my life. But how shall we care for our soul, my dear ones? Our soul has been entrusted to us — therefore we must take pity on it, entering into ourselves, and care for it. However much sin may entice you — you live, but you bear death within yourselves.
My dear ones, strive now to understand this. Who knows — perhaps another time will come, and we will not gather so easily, but will sit somewhere at home and pray.
If only you understood that you are ill, you would turn to God with supplication: “Lord, heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.” Amen.
Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.
