Prologue in Sermons: March 3

How Should Adult Children Relate to People Who Teach Them to Act Against the Will of Their Parents

March 3

(A word of Saint Ephraim, that one ought not to obey those who swear one to evil.)

By Archpriest Victor Guryev

Today our word is addressed to you, grown children, and this is what we shall say to you. We often see that evil people surround you and teach you to go against the will of your parents — and you listen to them. Indeed, why is it that in your families there are constant quarrels with parents, all kinds of disorders and family divisions? Chiefly it is from the slander and instigation of evil people.

A son meets some wicked man, tells him about some family misunderstanding, and that man begins to inflame the misunderstanding and to arm the son against his father or mother. And so the son, after meeting such a person, returns to his father’s house no longer the same as when he left it; he begins to raise his voice more and more in conversations with his parents, and then a spark turns into a flame, which in the end consumes the happiness and peace of the family.

From this it clearly follows that you, children, must flee from people who teach you to go against your parents as from a destructive plague. Only then, as the Venerable Ephraim the Syrian says, will you, by God’s mercy, escape family misfortunes and great calamities.

“But how,” you may say, “are we to flee from evil people, and how are we to act in such cases?” How to flee and how to act, we shall now answer you.

A certain man had a son who was very respectful and obedient. One wicked man, wishing to quarrel the latter with his father, said to him: “Swear to me that whatever I teach you to do toward your father, that you will do.” The inexperienced youth, suspecting no evil, swore.

Then the wicked man said: “Go at once and quarrel with your father. Annoy him, wound his heart with your tongue, and look at him boldly and insolently. Be sure to fulfill everything I tell you. Do not forget that you have sworn this to me.”

When the son heard these last words, he finally understood with whom he was dealing and answered the evil whisperer: “I see in you a deceitful man, an enemy of my father and one who desires the destruction of my soul. Therefore know that you will never tempt me as the serpent tempted Eve, nor will you ever lead me into sin by your malice and cunning. I hate your godless counsel and will never cease obeying my father, for the sake of the salvation of my soul. I will guard my ears from hearing your words by the sign of the Cross, so that they may not enter into them and that I may escape your flattery. Thus also the Apostle commands us to turn away from every wicked man and to pray to God that we commit no evil” (2 Cor. 13:7).

Therefore, children, this is how you must flee from evil people who incite you to go against the will of your parents. You must say to them what the good son said to the wicked man who tried to stir him up against his father; and, having stopped your ears, immediately depart from him, so that by doing so you may keep the commandment of God concerning the honoring of parents and draw down upon yourselves the favor of God.

“He who honors his father,” says the word of God, “will be heard in the day of his prayer. He who glorifies his father shall have long life. In deed and word honor your father, that a blessing may come upon you. For a man’s glory comes from honoring his father” (Sirach 3:5–11).

Remember this, children, and I repeat — flee from evil people. “Evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Cor. 15:33). And in order to establish yourselves forever in obedience to your parents, often remind yourselves of this unchangeable truth: only upon those families does the blessing of God rest, and only in those families do the Angels of the Lord abide, where such obedience reigns and where children honor their fathers and mothers not only in word, but also in deed. Amen.

Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.