Confession on Friday of the First Week of Great Lent
By Holy Hieromartyr Sergius Mechev
By Holy Hieromartyr Sergius Mechev
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!
I think our main misfortune is that we consider confession to be merely an obligation performed once a year. Then we fast, confess, feel relieved — and this divine lightness we wrongly reduce to simple emotional relief, an ordinary human feeling. We feel lighter — and that seems to be enough.
But is repentance given only so that we may feel better?
We must understand that confession is the means given by God for the ordering of our spiritual life — for the transformation of our entire existence. Otherwise repentance becomes fruitless. Repentance is a great mystery, yet we turn it into nothing more than a pleasant emotional experience.
The Holy Fathers teach that true repentance begins from the very moment you have confessed. The priest prays over the penitent that the Lord may grant him the image of repentance:
“Have mercy, O Lord, upon Your servant, and grant him the image of repentance.”
But why do we ask this, if the person has already confessed and repented?
Because from that moment — from confession, the forgiveness of sins, and union with the Holy Body and Blood — repentance in life truly begins. That is real repentance.
The condition of a Christian is the condition of one who continually repents. If we sin in life yet still desire the Kingdom of God, then we must remain repentant throughout our entire lives — examining our conscience daily, not once a year.
The Holy Fathers say that repentance truly begins only after we have confessed and received the Holy Mysteries, because then it becomes easier to watch over ourselves and examine our conscience. The lightness we feel is liberation from sin — from the tangled thickets that filled our soul. When, with God’s help, these burdens fall away and divine grace touches us, only then can we truly look into our soul. In that purity even the smallest sin becomes visible.
Before repentance, a person is lost in the chaos of sins and cannot distinguish them. But when the illness destroying the organism is broken, attention can finally be given to individual wounds that previously went unnoticed.
Each of us has a particular sin — one that is somehow “close and dear” to us. This is the one we must fight first.
The Holy Fathers teach that the path of purification is the acquisition of the fear of God and communion with Him. At first, a sinful person feels fear before God. But as purification progresses and communion with God deepens, fear diminishes and finally disappears, because “perfect love casts out fear.”
We must walk the path of purification, repentance, and union with God.
We have felt light through contact with God — but what comes next? A person feels relieved, becomes satisfied, and says to himself: “That’s enough.”
No, brothers and sisters — nothing has yet been accomplished.
God has done everything. The Son of God redeemed us. Salvation belongs both to God and to man; the path of salvation is a divine-human process. I move toward God as I am able, and God supports and leads me, though I do not yet know how to walk.
How, then, can we walk toward God and live with Him?
The Holy Fathers say: “Prayer is the abiding and union of man with God.”
And here lies our greatest weakness.
Many people confessed today. When asked, “Do you pray?” they answer quite seriously:
“How could I? I have no time. In the morning I rush to work; in the evening I am exhausted and fall asleep from fatigue.”
All this is said sincerely.
But then why come to confession? Why come to church at all, if everything is turned upside down — if one refuses to receive what the Church gives, reducing mysterical grace, the greatest mercy of God, to nothing more than a pleasant human experience?
I asked many today: “How long do you sleep?”
“Seven or eight hours.”
And how many hours do you work — sixteen or seventeen?
And for God? Is it truly impossible to give even a little time to prayer? Or has Christianity become merely incidental — something inherited from the past: people used to confess and commune, so we do the same?
The Holy Fathers teach that we must live in God, constantly converse with Him, and remain with Him — above all through morning and evening prayer.
How you begin the day determines how it will unfold.
Anyone can pray in the morning. We have dozens of hours for our affairs; surely ten minutes may be given to God.
“But in the evening we are tired…”
Yes, it is difficult to pray when exhausted. Then pray earlier — an hour or an hour and a half before sleep — and afterward complete your remaining tasks. Before sleep, leave only a short prayer: “Let God arise,” or “O God, forgive and pardon.”
Instead, we distort everything received through repentance and even attribute our own failures almost to God Himself.
We must understand that every action of our life should be sanctified by God. During work we should call upon Him as we are able:
“Lord, have mercy.”
“O God, cleanse me, a sinner.”
Pray briefly but constantly. From this depends both morning and evening prayer. If we sincerely desire to live in God, the Lord will help us.
Some say:
“How can I pray without feeling, without desire? How can I pray when my heart is cold?”
And thus they justify themselves, even accusing others of teaching hypocrisy.
But if we are honest, we will see that every task in life is sometimes done willingly and sometimes through effort. The same is true of work: forcing ourselves at first, we eventually enter into it and become capable workers despite laziness or discouragement.
So it is with prayer. We sinners cannot remain constantly aflame with spiritual zeal. Do not be troubled by this. Remember the widow who offered two small coins. From a worldly perspective they seemed insignificant, yet Christ said her gift surpassed all others because she gave everything she had.
Do not be discouraged if you do not feel like praying or lack repentance. The problem is that a person does not want to give his last offering to God.
“I have no repentance; grant me understanding that I may weep for my deeds.”
“I have neither tears nor repentance nor compunction,” says the author of the Great Canon — yet he still approaches God and asks:
“Grant these to me, O Savior, as God.”
“Give me tears of compunction in Your compassion.”
This canon exposes us. If we desire repentance, we must say to the Lord: “Here are my two small coins — help me.”
If someone lived far away and suddenly his father or mother arrived while he was doing dirty work, would he first run to wash himself before greeting them? No — he would run to them as he is.
This is exactly what the Lord desires from us.
Many come to confession only once a year. But we must ascend toward God every moment of life. I beg all my spiritual children: after receiving forgiveness and grace in the mysteries and partaking of the Holy Mysteries, begin your spiritual life now — during this Fast — if you have not yet begun it. And those who tried before but fell, begin again:
“Even though I have done nothing good before You, grant me by Your grace to make a good beginning.”
Whether you are a doctor, employee, laborer, or homemaker — all this is secondary. Remember first that you are Christians. Live in God. Illuminate your life with Christ.
Repentance is the work of an entire lifetime. Each day we must examine our conscience and correct ourselves. We must come to God as we are, not wait until we imagine ourselves worthy to approach Him or able to offer Him something.
I wish that tomorrow, when you are reconciled with the Lord through repentance and united with Him in Holy Communion, you may enter a new path — remembering what Christ has done for you, beginning true prayer, learning repentance, and becoming conscious of your sins not only in confession but at every moment of this temporary life. Amen.
Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.
