Should We Regret the Sins We Have Already Confessed to the Priest?
October 24*
(On the Bishop Who Was in the Desert for Thirty-Nine Years)
By Archpriest Victor Guryev
October 24*
(On the Bishop Who Was in the Desert for Thirty-Nine Years)
By Archpriest Victor Guryev
When we, brethren, offer repentance for the sins we have committed before God, in the presence of our spiritual father, and receive absolution and forgiveness, can we then completely forget these sins we have previously committed? Can we not grieve over them? Can we, so to speak, make a final reckoning with them in our conscience? What is the answer to this?
Let us answer this, brethren, for your edification, with the following example. The Bishop of the city of Sukhna tells the following about himself: “When I was a simple monk,” he says, “I desired to go to a distant desert with the goal of finding a man there who, through special ascetic labors, pleased God. I walked there for a long time, enduring scorching heat, and hunger, and finally saw a flowing spring of water, his hut standing on the shore, and a date palm growing next to it. Next to the hut stood an old man, completely overgrown with hair and frightening in appearance. When he saw me, he first began to pray, and afterward, he took me by the hand and began asking why I had come to him, what was happening in the world, and whether the persecution of Christians was continuing. Having answered the elder's questions, I, in turn, asked him, "Where are you from and why have you come here?" Then the elder, shedding tears, sobbed, "I was a bishop during the persecution of Christians, and when we Christians were led to martyrdom, I endured much torment for Christ, but finally, I could not bear it any longer and offered sacrifice to idols. Then I came to my senses, realized what a great iniquity I had committed, repented, and decided to withdraw here to mourn my sin. And so for thirty-nine years I have remained here, grieving over my iniquity and asking God for forgiveness." Having said this, the elder began to pray and prayed, as it is said, for "many hours." After the prayer ended, he approached me, and I was horrified by the extraordinary expression on his face. The elder said, "Do not be afraid: the Lord sent you to bury my body, and only now has He forgiven me my sin." With these words, the elder died, and I served the burial service for his body."
This example clearly demonstrates that even after repenting of our sins before God, even in the presence of a spiritual father, we still must not forget our previous sins, but must grieve over them and, with them in mind, cast ourselves into the abyss of God's mercy. It is impossible that the bishop, unable to endure torment and consequently sacrificing to idols, would not immediately confess to his spiritual father after his repentance. Yet, even after this, he spent thirty-nine years in the desert and for thirty-nine years mourned his old sin until his death. Thus, too, we must spend the rest of our lives in repentance and confession of our past sins. But the truth that we must always remember our sins and grieve over them is confirmed not only by the above-mentioned example, but also by another Church sermon, in which the spiritual father says to the confessor: "And I will not cease to repent for my past sins." Therefore, we repeat, let us always remember our sins, grieve over them, and ask God for forgiveness for them. And when we do so, then the Lord will undoubtedly and finally show us His mercy and lead us sinners into His most radiant abodes, just as He led David, who watered his bed with tears every night, as He led Peter, who "bitterly" wept over his sin, and as, finally, He led the thief, who from the cross cried out to Him from the depths of his soul: "Remember me, O Lord, when You come into Your Kingdom." Amen.
Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.
Notes:
* In the original text, there is no entry for October 24th. There this is the second entry for November 3rd.
