September: Day 11: Teaching 2: Venerable Theodora of Alexandria

September: Day 11: Teaching 2: 

Venerable Theodora of Alexandria

(To the Debauched and Intoxicated Christian)

By Archpriest Grigory Dyachenko

I. The Venerable Theodora, celebrated today for her profound and genuine repentance for her one-time sin against the seventh commandment, due to temptation, for her perpetual tears of a contrite heart, for her ascetic endeavors in mortifying the flesh along with its passions and desires, and for her great holiness of life following her singular fall and trustworthy restoration, compels us to speak with you about the sin of debauchery as a warning and admonition to a wayward son or daughter.

II. "His flesh will be in pain, and his soul will mourn" (Job 14:22). With these words from the ancient sacred book, I wish to begin my conversation with you, my beloved brother, who has fallen into the sin of debauchery. Do not regard me with such disdain, such suspicion. Why this dissatisfied glance? "What captivates your heart, and what lifts your eyes?" (Job 15:12). Before you stands not an enemy, nor a judge, nor a fearsome accuser; no, before you is one whom you once loved to listen to, to whom you once clung with all the childlike trust of your soul. Do not say in your heart: "I know: the sermon is beginning; advice and guidance will be offered, various boring rules will be prescribed, and threats will be uttered"... What is left for me to advise you that you have not heard before? What to preach that you do not already know? What can I threaten you with?... Listen, oh, listen to me: I will speak to you as you would speak to yourself, if only for a moment you wished to turn inward. Your flesh will be in pain for you, and your soul mourn over you. What were you before? What are you now? And what will become of you?

a) Your flesh aches within you, and your soul mourns for you: you are not at all the same today as you were before. My friend! You have not lived long enough to completely forget your happy past; you have not lived so little that, with sadness reminiscing about your past, you cannot turn to the blissful days of your innocent childhood with a sense of lost peace. Therefore, I implore you, turn back, for your soul is praying for this! Remember: for then, in those days of your bliss, your flesh did not ache within you! It was fresh and healthy, like a beautiful flower from noble seed; it was nurtured and adorned by the hand of your kind mother; it was protected and warmed by the love and gentle breast of your father. Your face was pure and clear; there were not a single foreign feature visible on it; but now these features on your face shock with their unpleasantness, expressing the arrogance of your spirit! Your eyes were kind and peaceful; even your hair was not as harsh and stubborn as it is now... Does this body of yours remember? Ah, it remembers, of course, it remembers that it was light and serene, just as a good person's conscience is at peace! At that time, it did not grieve because it was in harmony with you and your soul.

And your soul did not mourn for you then. Whose soul, better than yours, could bring joy to the hearts of your parents, your blood relatives, and your friends? How many beautiful hopes your happy abilities have inspired! How quickly and correctly they developed! Watching how evenly and harmoniously your spiritual powers unfold and act, I thought and spoke of you: "His soul is as harmonious as the Psalms of David." Does your soul remember that sacred delight with which you heeded the teachings of your friends? Does it recall that indescribable pleasure you found in the sacred faith of your forefathers? Do you remember those blessed moments you dedicated to the diligent reading of insightful and pious books? And where has all this gone?

Truly, my friend, the devil has come, the devil himself has come and stolen you from us, carried you away from the paradise of your innocence and blessedness.

b) What have you become now? I shall not portray the abyss into which you have plunged, like a forsaken spirit; however, you cannot forbid me to lament for you alongside your body and soul. Your flesh yearns, and your soul weeps for you. Your body yearns: you have surrendered it to the decay of seductive desires; despite your apparent health, the keen sense of a pious man already detects, already senses the stench of sinful rot emanating from your flesh. Your brow is haughty, yet bleak; your eyes are mournful, despite your boisterous laughter... With what horror do I now gaze upon these, once gentle and kind eyes, and see in them a gray hue, a murky movement, a dim flame of passions!... When you walk, your steps resemble the flight of a desperate soul, hastening to throw itself into the abyss. When you speak, your voice, once so soft and flowing, now resembles the hoarse voice of a prisoner, barely audible from the walls of the dungeon. When you sleep, intoxicated by the wild passions within you, your breath, unbeknownst to you, transforms into the painful moan of one in agony. What does all this signify, if not the groans of your flesh within you? Yes, it is indeed in labor, it is lamenting, even though you do not hear or feel its groans, its complaints. And what shall I say about the weeping with which your soul weeps for you? The beauty of this beloved daughter of beloved Zion is taken away (Lamentations 1:6). Her divine appearance has darkened more than soot, to the point that you do not even recognize her (4:8). You have wearied her life in the pit of your passions (3:53). You have despoiled all by which she was adorned (2:2). She weeps in the night and her tears are on her cheeks (1:10). Oh, why have you brought a foreign fire into this sanctuary of God?! Why have you placed the abomination of desolation in the holy place? Why have you turned the temple of the Lord into an idol's shrine, filling it with the idols of debauchery and drunkenness? Until now – what solace have you found in the dreadful insurrection of your unbridled passions, which you have willingly raised in your soul and heart? Oh, do not deceive yourself, do not try to conceal from yourself the torments with which, amidst your wild joys, your spirit is suffering! You feel deeply, and your soul knows that your dark present is as little akin to your blissful past, as the life of a fallen spirit is unlike the life of a heavenly angel.

c) What will your future be? You do not wish to cast your gaze into the dark abyss of the days to come but believe me, your flesh will be in anguish, and your soul will weep for you. I shall not threaten you with the righteous judgment of God; your own conscience condemns you and is already condemning you. I will not speak of the horrors of hell that await all unrepentant sinners: it will soon be revealed in your soul and flesh. But - "What I have seen I will declare, what wise men have told, not hiding anything received from their fathers" (Job 15:17-18). You have already tasted the destructive pleasures of a drunken and debauched life, you have offered your soul and flesh to mockery: yet you do not yet know the fearsome forces that lie hidden in your soul and flesh, and by which your soul and flesh will, on that dark and dreadful day, avenge themselves for their humiliation; you are still unaware of the dreadful secret of iniquity that is already at work in the bones of your flesh and in the thoughts of your soul. Your flesh, apparently healthy and growing robust, is nonetheless exhausting its strength; the very indulgence in debauchery and intoxication will refine it, so that through its delicacy you may perceive more clearly and feel all the horrors of lawlessness within you. Do you not notice that your sins are becoming habits, taking root in your flesh and blood, infecting your soul and body to the extent that another evil being seems to dwell within you, insisting unrelentingly on being fed with the customary pleasures of sin? Do you not feel how this wicked entity violently draws you toward these pleasures, irrespective of whether you desire them? But believe me, my friend: if you do not stop in time, if you do not engage in battle against this evil habit, a day will soon come when you will no longer be able to overcome it: you will weep, yet you will continue to sin! The secret vices that now fill your bones will become grafted to those very bones and will rest with them in the earth (Job 20:11). No power will be able to sever the dreadful bond between vice and your bones. The evil that is now sweet in your mouth, like honey, will turn into the gall of asps within your belly, and your nerves will absorb the venom of asps (Job 20:12). You will see, and for not a moment will you be able to avoid seeing how your iniquities follow you, advance before you, mock you by day, and terrify you by night. Then, oh then, my friend, the heavens will unveil your wickedness, and the earth will rise against you! (Job 20:27).

Do not harbor, my beloved brother, in your heart an evil thought, as if I speak to you only to frighten you with imagined forthcoming calamities. Why should I terrify you with what truly happens, and what will inevitably befall you, if you do not abandon your paths of wickedness? Woe to you, son of inebriation, son of debauchery, frivolously attempting to turn truth into falsehood; woe to you if you have heard my words now and refuse to heed them! They will increase your condemnation and multiply your torments, for you knew them and chose not to listen. I know how deeply you have fallen; it is not words, but only misfortunes, only the torments of your soul and flesh that can save you from ultimate ruin!

III. Lord! Before we perish, save us, save all who are overcome by impure passions! Keep us from an intoxicated and unchaste life! Save us by Your all-powerful grace! Save us, whether we want our salvation or not! 

 

Source: A Complete Annual Cycle of Short Teachings, Composed for Each Day of the Year. Translated by John Sanidopoulos.